“In a battle, an army of farts would surely beat an army of noses, even if those noses were armed with fingers that could flick long-range boogers.”

“If flowers were boogers, I'd pick a few big ones and flick them on your grave.”

“If I had nostrils on my index fingers, I wonder what the inside of my nose would smell like?”

“The best thing about dating a deaf woman with no nose is being able to fart in bed and have her not know. Well, that is unless Edmond tells her, but I don't think he will.”

“If I had four fingers growing out of my forehead, I wouldn't try to play the piano with my nose.”

“Earwax is nothing more than sound boogers. I’m too congested to hear anything but I love you. Not that I expect you to flick it at me lightly.”

“My ears are as blind as my eyes are deaf. But my nose, it can see the truth, except when I block its line of site with my index fingers.”