“In high school, I was convinced I had super powers. Well, just one really. I was sure I had the gift of invisibility. But nobody saw how super I was, because nobody saw me.”

“I asked possible witnesses about the invisible man shaped like a whisper, and nobody saw or heard anything. Which means he was there, and he is probably my father.”

“My nickname in high school was Catch 22. Not because I was a walking dilemma, but because I had 22 catches freshman year. The interesting part was that I didn’t play football, but that’s just how inaccurate our quarterback was.”

“If you tell me I look like someone you know, I might get panicked and think you’re on to me. I thought nobody saw me abduct that guy and steal his identity.”

“In high school they called me “Pizza Face.” Not because I had bad acne, though I did, but because I always wore pepperoni and mushrooms on my face.”

“If I were silent and invisible, I’d fear nobody. And if I were tasteless too, not even the cannibals or modern art critics would touch me.”

“I saw her from afar. The game was afoot. I had astiffy.”