“Inappropriate interview question #7: Are you into retirement home butt sex?”

“Inappropriate interview question #13: Can I call you Kitten Tits?”

“It's sad to see old friends have to move away, but at the same time, you know the retirement home is the best place for them.”

“I used to spend a lot of time in lap pools. Growing up I was on a few swim teams. In Florida all there is to do is surf, swim, golf, and try to pick up single women at the retirement home.”

“A brick could be used as a hammer, which frees up the hammer to be used as a sex toy. The only question is, Which end will you insert? If you’re a politician, I’d recommend the one with the hooks.
”

“I retired at the age of 25, and it wasn’t until a few days later that I realized that in order to retire you need a stash of cash, and if I wanted to live to the age of 26, I’d better reenter the workforce. Or, rather, enter it for the first time.”

“No, lady, you didn’t have sex with me, you had sex with my clone. I’m sorry, but I don’t know you.”