“It may seem like good is always reacting in response to evil, and evil always makes the first move, but if the universe is essentially good, and I believe it is, then evil can only ever be reactionary.”

“Some people believe that people are essentially evil. Others believe people are essentially good. I believe they are somewhere in the middle, like Denver.”

“I like to use my influence for good, rather than evil. And in this case, the good is a free meal at a swanky restaurant. But I don’t have much influence, as you could tell if you saw the meal I was just given: two packets of saltine crackers and a glass of water (ice not included).”

“Voting for the lesser of two evils is still voting for evil. Next time, go all out and write in Lucifer on the ballot.”

“If there are two clones, one good and one evil, I can’t kill on sight alone. It’s the same with love. Some love hurts, and some love elevates, but as to which one is which, they are two sides to the same sandwich.
”

“I used to think that Satan and all the fallen angels were the most evil beings in the universe. Now I think it’s absurd and naïve to think that. Oh, Satan exists, but he’s a puppy dog compared to politicians and lobbyists.”

“I want to protect innocent people from sin by locking them in cages, where the evil can't get to them.”