“It was a blustery winter night, back in the summer of 2009. That’s when we met, and that’s when I knew it was love, two years before.”

“When I was young, I loved summer and hated winter. When I got older I loved winter and hated summer. Now that I’m even older, and wiser, I hate both summer and winter.”

“Love is like a summer rainstorm in winter. Where I’m from that’s called romance. Where you’re from that may be called snow.”

“Two guys, a man and a beast, were walking underwater, when two goats began fishing for political votes. That’s when I fell in love, when I saw how serious it all was.”

“A one-winged bird does not fly south for the winter. It flies south, west, north, and east, over and over. That’s how I feel when I’m in love, only I walk.”

“The police called it choking, but I called it a two-handed neck hug. That’s how I knew she really loved me.”

“When I need to be in two places at once, make two decisions at once, that’s what clones are for.”