“It’s a comforting thought knowing that no matter how old I get, I can always get older.”

“I thought she was older than she was, and I thought she was younger than she was. She looked older, but she acted younger, so no matter what her age was, I was surprised by it.”

“I’ll never be as old as someone older than me, but I can be older than them if I outlive their lifespan.”

“I’m a logician. No matter how wrong I am, I can always convince myself I am right.”

“I’m older than myself. At least I will be, once my clone gets here.”

“His name is Randy Randy. Or maybe it’s Randy Randy. I always get his first and last names mixed up.”

“If somebody tells me and my wife to get a room, I always ask, How about the kitchen?”