“It’s amazing that a thin film of plastic wrap is enough to protect food against the aggression of hungry marauders. Or maybe the plastic cover doesn’t act as a shield, but rather the starving mob is staved off by one simple word: Leftovers.”

“I’m single, like a cheese slice individually wrapped in plastic.”

“A brick could be wrapped in plastic and sold individually to toddlers as toys. (Warning: Bricks can be harmful if swallowed. If ingested, please contact a physician first, and then the manager of a circus.)
”

“I’ve got a sizeable retirement nest egg. It’s an ostrich egg, and it’s going to make an omelet so big that it’ll produce enough leftovers for decades.
”

“I am a love factory. I make love out of high quality plastics at an affordable price.”

“I eat overcast skies for breakfast, because sunlight isn’t filling enough. As a lover, I’m a bring-my-own-umbrella kind of guy, because a soup bowl doesn’t offer enough space or protection.”

“Not only will my kids be out to replace me, but so will all my clones. Makes me feel so disposable, like a plastic spoon.”