“It’s hard to hear over the racket of gunfire. Politicians want to talk about war, but the people want to talk about peace.”

“It’s disturbing to me that criminals are freely roaming the streets of our nation’s capital. I’m not talking about escaped prison inmates—I’m talking about politicians.”

“There’s always something to talk about, even if you talk about how there is nothing to talk about. Of course, I’m talking about love.”

“War is fought over futile and feudal things. War is not about ideology, no matter how artfully framed, but it’s simply about power and money and control.”

“Too many people talk about the weather, and not enough people talk about agriculture. When somebody says to me, "Beautiful weather we're having,” I always reply, "Irrigation and crop rotation.”

“Jarod Kintz is a friend, a lover, and a loner. Jarod Kintz talks about Jarod Kintz, because Jarod Kintz has nobody else to talk to. Jarod Kintz is also a liar and a thief, and that’s why I think he’d make a great politician.
”

“I once had a professor who could condense an entire lecture into a can of frozen orange juice. Talk about hard to concentrate.”