“It’s hard to wear a Speedo and pose with an erection. Still, I’ve got to try, every Saturday from 9 am to 8:59 pm.”

“Like a 9-5 business at 4:59 pm, her legs were open.”

“I listen to AM radio in the AM, and AM radio for an AM audience in my PM (though it comes from the other side of the world). It’s all morning all the time for me. Sometimes I even listen to FM in the AM, but never FM and AM in the AM or PM.”

“Life seems so am/pm. But really it’s not as balanced as all that.”

“I’ve got a pocket full of cash, and a condom full of erection.”

“It’s hard to type with gloves on. It’s also hard to type with just an erection. It’s basically like typing with one finger, and in my case, a pinky.”

“Today is 8-9-10. August, 9, 2010. So hooray for Chronologically Ascending Day!”