“It’s not a joke if it’s not entirely clear. But most jokes play off of ambiguity and sudden juxtaposition, so a joke has to be clearly unclear.”

“I made a joke today, and I made it out of pennies. It was a very poor joke.”

“If you try a joke a second time and nobody laughs, don’t tell a different joke—tell different people.”

“A blanket provides warmth. So does the joy a good joke brings.
”

“A wink and a smirk walk into a bar, and the bartender asked them what they were drinking, when all of the sudden a mustache in a cowboy hat riding a vagina runs through the door, and right there I have to stop the joke, because not only does it not have a punch line, but that punch line was kidnapped, and if it’s ever found, it will probably be rated Not Safe For Work. 
”

“Life's too short to take yourself seriously, and too long to take a wife jokingly.”

“I was joking about my clones to my family when my uncle Herman said, “Don’t do that. Don’t make fun of yourself and others at the same time.” And he’s right. It is confusing. Am I mocking myself, or joking at the expense of someone else?”