“It’s not really masturbating if you’re jacking your clone off. It’s more like politics.”

“If I shake your hand, and then jack off, it’s as if you gave me an indirect handjob.
”

“I suffer from tennis elbow. It’s an old masturbating injury from when I was training to go into politics.”

“Should I masturbate before we meet up? I don’t want to be horny and thinking with my dick the whole time. I mean, it’s not like it’s a date. For Pete’s sake, it’s a job interview.”

“It’s not you, it’s me.” This line could signify rejection, or it could be something I say in the future, when I’m talking to one of my clones about another one of my clones.”

“I think you’re funny, and the toilet sounds like a soda can opening when it flushes. It’s a diet soda, so it’s less filling and more fattening.”

“I looked him in the eyes and said, “I don’t trust you.” I’ll tell you, it’s like looking in a mirror when you make eye contact with your clone.”