“It’s not that I don’t have the drive to succeed, but rather I don’t have the gas.”

“I used to live with someone of the opposite sex. It’s called a sister, and I don’t have one.”

“I don’t have to tell you, “I don’t have to tell you” before telling you something I don’t have to tell you. I also don't have to tell you I love you, but I do.”

“I don’t understand why you don’t trust me. It’s not like you have a reason to not trust me. So, lend me some money, and let me give you the reason you were looking for to not trust me. Wouldn’t you rather be proved right than not lose money?”

“Nipples—men have them, but don’t need them. Men—women have them, but don’t need them. Women—I don’t have them, but I need them. All of them.”

“I don’t have a blue-collar job. It’s more of a green collar, because of all the yellow sweat stains mixing in.”

“I don’t dress like I have any money. And I don’t have any money, which helps enable me to dress like that.”