“It’s not true I think all politicians are morons. Morons are far too intelligent to be politicians.”

“I don’t think he’s dumber than a politician. But only because it’s not possible to be dumber than a politician.”

“America’s problem, in a word, is politicians. In two words, it’s politicians and lobbyists. In three words, it’s politicians, lobbyists, and lawyers. And finally, in four words, it’s politicians, lobbyists, lawyers, and bankers.”

“Mr. Shit gives politicians a good name. It’s the rest of the politicians who give Mr. Shit a bad name.”

“I used to think that Satan and all the fallen angels were the most evil beings in the universe. Now I think it’s absurd and naïve to think that. Oh, Satan exists, but he’s a puppy dog compared to politicians and lobbyists.”

“The only problem with politicians taking two week vacations every year is it’s about 50 weeks too short.
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“The ability to gauge intelligence is itself a form of intelligence. Monkeys don’t ponder how smart monkeys are. Ditto for politicians.”