“I’ve gone astray. It’s better to cook with a stray than eat your own cat.”

“I ate a rainbow in a bowl, because it’s better than eating rain soup. Food and water aren’t supposed to be one and the same.
”

“I’ve got better things to think about than thoughtlessness.”

“Schrödinger’s cat was a Siamese cat, must have been, because if it’s at once alive and dead, it’s a zombie, and the only zombie cats are Siamese cats.”

“Dinner is served. It’s chicken lo mein. Oh and by the way, your cat is missing.”

“I ate a Danish. Better than eating someone from Finland.”

“A window—it’s more entertaining than TV. Just ask a cat looking out, or a man looking in on a life he desires.”