“I’ve got a piece of the American Dream. I don’t have a house, but I do have a new chandelier. Now I just have to build a house around it.”

“I’ve got a life. I spend all my time dreaming of a new life.”

“The headline read, Man Saves Child From Burning House, and I just have to ask: Why did that kid want to burn down the house?”

“I had a dream my house was on fire, and I tried to rescue all the cats—and none of the politicians. You can burn my house, but don’t you dare burn my coffee.”

“I got a new car. I just need to put it together. They’re easier to steal piece by piece.”

“A brick is a duplicate. It is a physical copy of the idea for a brick. And what’s the big idea? A brick represents unity, a notion of hey, let’s build something together. Like a house, for example. And after you help me build my house, I’ll use a leftover brick and smash you over the skull so that not only will I not have to pay you for your labor, but I won’t have to pay the butcher for meat, because with your sturdy body, I’m sure I’ll have enough food to feed my family for a year. 
”

“Too bad Americans can’t export Awesome, because I have boxes and boxes of the stuff just lying around in my attic.”