“I’ve had a stressful day, and I need something stronger than beer. Somebody fetch me a bodybuilder. Check the cooler in the garage.”

“When somebody tells me they’ve had a bad day, I always respond in a somber voice, “Yes, I’ve had one of those too. August 15, 2004.”

“My first incident drinking alcohol occurred after a 2-month period in which I stole wine coolers and beers from my parents and hid them in different places around my room. I was 14 years old, in eighth grade. I invited a friend over one night after I had stolen enough. After 2 wine coolers the friend interrupted me, saying, "Hold on," and vomited into a trash can. I vomited a lot into the toilet. The next day, like a dumbass, I put the empty wine cooler and beer bottles in our outside garbage bin without trying to cover them. My dad caught me as a result, but hid it from my mom for unknown reasons.”

“I was more than this meek, defenseless victim. I had something within me that was stronger than the sum of all my unacceptable parts.”

“Somebody once told me that I need a reality check, I told them that I'll accept money from any source.”

“The ties that bind us are stronger than the occasional stresses that separate us.”