“I've never had cyber sex. My penis won't fit in the USB port. . . at least not without lots of lubrication.”

“There’s a penis in my penne pasta. It’s my penis, but that doesn’t mean it belongs there.”

“Let my hand be a blanket for my penis.
”

“If I only had one eye, I’d look at my other eyeball with my good eye. It would be in a jar on the dresser, of course, right next to my detachable penis.”

“My friend had sex with half of all the women in the city. I think he had sex with the lower half of all the women.”

“I belong, and my penis, it be long.”

“When sex is Freon any occasion, it usually involves something dripping and toxic. At least that's what my mechanic tells me.”