“I’ve often been told I fight like a girl, probably because from the moment I whip off my bra, my opponent knows I mean business.”

“I’ve often wondered why boxing gloves are bright red. If I were a boxer, I’d wear camouflage colored boxing gloves so my opponent would never see my punches coming.”

“People who die in Detroit and then go to hell probably think they’re in heaven. I know, because I’ve been to Cleveland.
”

“My lips touched hers, like two butterflies in the wind. Then I went home, cut off my eyelids, and I’ve been living in darkness since.”

“I’ve been meaning to go shopping for boxing gloves, but I’ve been putting it off. I just need to knock it out and be done with it.”

“I haven’t been feeling like myself lately. No, I’ve been feeling like my clone.”

“When I see a cop’s lights behind me at two in the morning, and I have my disco ball dangling from my rearview mirror, it’s like, Hey, a party! Especially if I’ve been drinking.”