“Last February had 29 days. It wasn’t a leap year, but me and 28 of my clones each remember that month as if it were a day.”

“My clones just honored me with the 2012 Man of the Year Award. But I wasn’t fooled—I knew they were really honoring themselves.”

“If I had my clone take a test for me, it’s likely I’d misspell my own name. And I’m terrible at remembering people’s names—even if that person is me.”

“Ever since the day I came out of the womb, I’ve had impeccable timing. For example, I somehow managed to be born on the exact day of my birthday. And I wasn’t even trying, though my mother did push me along a bit.”

“I did what I did for my clone, not for my own personal gain. It wasn’t right that he asked it of me, so I asked it of myself.”

“Take me to Happy Birthday Land. It’s open 364 days of the year, and the one day of the year it’s closed for cleaning happens to be my birthday. 
”

“I’ve come a long way in the last year. 365 days, to be exact.”