“Lay your head on my shoulder and massage my buttocks while you cry.”

“I need to lay low for a while. I’ll be on my stomach, trying not to arch my back (damn scoliosis).”

“A brick could be shoved in your buttocks. You know, for your enjoyment.
”

“Excuse me, madam, but may I rub my erection up against your buttocks, because I mistakenly took Viagra thinking it was Vitamin C?”

“There is a hole in my buttocks. I’d like to return it, or at the very least exchange it for a new one.”

“The sign on the side of the highway said “Shoulder Work,” and I thought, “I could go for a massage right now.” So I pulled over.”

“My love is like the shape your mouth makes while you whistle. Would you mind if I accompanied you on my harmonica?”