“Leadership. I separate myself from the pack at such a great distance that it may be said that I’m a leader—a leader of one with followers of none.”

“I try not to sell myself short, unless I’m giving myself a great price on the stuff.”

“From a distance it looked like a dog, but it was just a smashed and beaten box. Still, I’m glad I swerved and hit it.”

“I’m quoting my clone, because he quoted me thinking if I said it, he said it. He thought he was quoting himself when he quoted me. So in effect I’m quoting myself quoting myself, with my clone as a source of what I wrote.”

“I’m a Colorado boy at heart, even though my surrounding body is like the landmass containing the encircling 47 states. But I love like Hawaii and Alaska—hot and cold and from a distance.”

“I’m a dyslexic dancer. Instead of leading the women, I follow. Quick, cab driver, follow that woman!”

“The cute girl at the bar asked for my number. I told her I’m number one. Then I gave her the area code and the following seven digits.”