“Let my hand be a blanket for my penis.
”

“A blanket could be used to settle disputes. Hold my penis while I demonstrate how it would work. 
”

“How big is my penis? Big enough to touch my hands.”

“A brick and a blanket could be used as characters in a story full of clever dialogue, such as:
Brick: I checked everywhere, and it’s not where I last left it. Did you touch my penis sandwich?
Blanket: What? Eww no, why would I touch your penis sandwich?
Brick: Well, would it make you more comfortable if I put on some condiments and rolled on a condom?
Blanket: Dude, or lady, whatever you are. I’m not gay—or straight. I’m not even bisexual. I’m a blanket, and I’m asexual. I’m also not hungry now.”

“The feel of my silky smooth legs made his penis wobble and bounce uncontrollably as my hands reached his hairy chest.”

“My penis isn’t big. It just appeared that way because the midget’s hands were so small.”