“Let my hand be a blanket for my penis.
”

“A blanket could be used to settle disputes. Hold my penis while I demonstrate how it would work. 
”

“How big is my penis? Big enough to touch my hands.”

“A brick and a blanket could be used as characters in a story full of clever dialogue, such as:
Brick: I checked everywhere, and it’s not where I last left it. Did you touch my penis sandwich?
Blanket: What? Eww no, why would I touch your penis sandwich?
Brick: Well, would it make you more comfortable if I put on some condiments and rolled on a condom?
Blanket: Dude, or lady, whatever you are. I’m not gay—or straight. I’m not even bisexual. I’m a blanket, and I’m asexual. I’m also not hungry now.”

“My penis isn’t big. It just appeared that way because the midget’s hands were so small.”

“There’s a penis in my penne pasta. It’s my penis, but that doesn’t mean it belongs there.”

“If I shake your hand, will I get my fingerprints all over your fingertips? I hope not. Otherwise the crime scene, and the shaft of my penis, is riddled with my fingerprints.”