“Let’s all roll up our sleeves and get back to work. Or let’s create jobs where other people roll up other people’s sleeves, so these other people can get to work helping other people get to work. That’s brilliant. I should be a politician.”

“Some people work to live, and other people live to work. Then some people, like me, are both unemployed and alive (at least at the time of this writing).
”

“Some people work in the medical field, others in the legal field, while I work in the green field. Except in winter, and then I work in the brown field.”

“I’m a master of encouragement. Why should I do work myself when the price of getting others to do it for me is as cheap as cheering them on?”

“Most people don’t know where money comes from. Even most of our elected officials don’t know. If you were to ask a politician where money comes from, s/he would probably reply, “I don’t know, from other people’s pockets?”

“Borrowing from Pythagoras, I’ve worked out the equation to a love triangle: A2 + B2 = C other people.”

“A preacher’s job is preaching. So how come he gets to work on the day of rest?”