“Life, it’s made up of two things—time and love. A watch tells one, but what tells the other? We tell each other.”

“We made eyes at each other, and then we made love. We also made other things too, like meatloaf.”

“If it’s not one thing, it’s another. The other thing is, of course, two. That makes the one thing love, because two is the smallest number you can have to get the one.”

“By the time I tell you to start doing something, it’s time for you to stop listening and start doing. Especially if what I tell you to do is start listening.”

“Love is the color of red inverted. At least that’s what Gunnar Greenlove told me, and I believe him because he’s from an island where half the people tell only the truth and half tell only lies. Not only that, but the island has a population of two, and I am the other inhabitant.”

“I can tell if two people are in love by how they hold each other’s hands, and how thick their sanitation gloves are.”

“If you tell me I look familiar but you just can’t place it, I’ll tell you that with two ears, two eyes, two lips, and a nose, I just must have one of those faces.”