“Like a 9-5 business at 4:59 pm, her legs were open.”

“I don’t understand open relationships. My relationship is like a normal business at 5:01 pm: very much closed.”

“It’s hard to wear a Speedo and pose with an erection. Still, I’ve got to try, every Saturday from 9 am to 8:59 pm.”

“We agreed to meet at 4. I meant AM and she meant PM, so we both just stood around thinking we’d been stood up.”

“I don't want to work a 9-5 job, because 20 hours a day is just too much.”

“A blanket could be used as Concealment Revealer. It both conceals and reveals, like great dialogue. Here’s some great dialogue I wrote for two characters, Mr. Brick, and Ms. Blanket:
Mr. Brick: I like your dress
Ms. Blanket: I’m naked, you moron
Mr. Brick: Tuesdays make me vomit. What are you doing one minute after Monday at 11:59 PM?”

“Pet my 3:33 pm like it’s a beard. Live it, but don’t lick it.”