“Like a midget, I walk tall and proud.”

“I’m so tall I make midgets look like dwarves.”

“I consider seeing my 30th birthday an accomplishment. You know, not many midgets live to be this tall.”

“My shadow’s so substantial that it has its own shadow. It isn’t as tall, but that’s OK, because sometimes it feels like I’m being followed by a black midget.”

“I long for your love like the length of a midget.”

“Johnny Kickstand bullied me in middle school. Today, Kickstand stands 4’7” tall. Well, he would stand that tall if he weren’t in a wheelchair. So he’s a cripple and a midget, but he still whooped my ass last Tuesday. Bastard.”

“The book “Little Women,” what, is that about midgets? I freaking love midgets.”