“Like eggs, I’m scrambling to get ahead in this economic depression.”

“I’m glad scrambled eggs don’t have lips, because when I’m grinning over a hearty breakfast, it would really freak me out to see my breakfast grinning back. I’ve eaten a man for less than that.”

“I was rubbing the pieces of bacon like they were strands of a lover’s hair. Of course they weren’t, because all my exes had hair like scrambled eggs.”

“The radio signal was scrambled, and so were my eggs. I got tired of eating commercial breaks for breakfast.”

“The internet is a knowledge omelet. Sometimes I just want the purity of scrambled eggs that only a book can provide.”

“She had lips like two wavy slices of crisp bacon, and her kisses felt like gravy on my scrambled eggs tongue. We made love like we made breakfast—and then we made brunch like rabbits.”

“Pigs might make great pets, but they make better breakfast. I’ll take one big snuggle, with a side of scrambled eggs.”