“Like the Grand Canyon, I care deeply. Hop on a donkey and you’ll see how deeply I love you!”

“I need to dig a hole the size of the Grand Canyon to bury all of my problems.”

“I don’t shower because water is the most corrosive element. Ever seen what it does to rock? I want a chiseled body, but I don’t want it to look like the Grand Canyon.”

“I am the Love Camel of Llama Land. Come, hop on my hump and let me lead you to water.”

“For your birthday I got you some batteries. They’re dead, just like you’ll soon be.”

“A brick could be used to make life easier. Start carrying one around with you everywhere you go, and you’ll see what I mean. 
”

“The moon is an orbital albino, and it gets tons of sunlight, so I propose Operation Sunscreen, where astronauts coat the surface of the moon with a protective layer of sunscreen. If you care about albinos and the environment, you’ll see this is a good idea. And hey, it’s a better use of taxpayer funds than bailing out private banks.
”