“Love has a certain weightlessness to it, much as my meaty penis would on the moon.”

“If I had no penis, how would I pee? How would I make love? How would I think?”

“My penis, when inflated, does not qualify as a flotation device, no matter how much it tastes like the navy.”

“There’s a penis in my penne pasta. It’s my penis, but that doesn’t mean it belongs there.”

“A blanket could be used to settle disputes. Hold my penis while I demonstrate how it would work. 
”

“If I only had one eye, I’d look at my other eyeball with my good eye. It would be in a jar on the dresser, of course, right next to my detachable penis.”

“Let my hand be a blanket for my penis.
”