“Love is an art. Mine could fill a museum the size of your heart.”

“Rain is a nudist’s shower, and I want a bathtub the size of a lake. Then we could make love like your parents did that one time, nine months before your birth.”

“My love is like one of those wooden Russian nesting dolls (matryoshka doll). I know, because your heart fits perfectly inside mine.
”

“A brick could be inserted in your chest in place of your heart. And for just a couple thousand dollars more, an artificial heart could replace the brick.
”

“If footballs were the size of acorns, they’d be easy to lose in the forest. Virginity is also easy to lose in the forest, and mine, believe it or not, was shaped like an acorn.”

“Art books are filled with interesting images. And that’s cool and all, but I look more for the nudes.”

“The best place to hide gold coins is in a treasure chest filled with those circular chocolates that are coin-sized and wrapped in gold foil. That’ll foil any thief.”