“Love is like learning to ride a midget, which I’ve never done because I’m afraid of heights.”

“I wish I could climb the corporate ladder like I could climb a tree, but I can’t, because I’m afraid of heights. And bark.”

“I’m already moving towards the kitchen as I say this, because one thing I’ve learned is that you never, ever enter negotiations with a three-and-a-half-year old. It’s like negotiating with terrorists.”

“If you keep acting like a big baby, I will shoot you. I’ve never known a man so in love with his hair before. “ “I’m in love with all of me. I’m a very lovable pervert.” “Well, you’re going to be a very sexy pervert when I’m done with you. Now hold still.”

“I’m so tall I make midgets look like dwarves.”

“I’m not, even if you think I am. But no matter what this started out as…an accident, fate, whatever—I’m glad you found me that night. Not because of what happened, but because of now. Because I get to be here with you. And I’m scared, too, but—but thank you for telling me today. Thank you for trusting me with that. I’ve never…” I pressed my lips together, trying to find the right words. “I’ve never felt like this for anyone. And I’m not really sure what falling in love feels like, but I think—I know I have. With you.”