“Love is patient and love is kind. Damn! Why’d it have to be the two qualities I wasn’t born with?”

“I have the worst kind of history—a non history. I wasn’t born poor, oppressed, rich, famous, or any other such extreme. I was born in the middle, and I desperately want to hide it.”

“I am a love factory. I make love out of high quality plastics at an affordable price.”

“Love waits patiently. In the lobby. I’ll be with you as soon as I can.”

“I wasn’t very far away from figuring out the secret to love, no more than two miles or so, when my camel broke down and I got shot at by a pack of cigarettes.”

“I feel like I’m late for love. I’ll be 30 in March. Damn it! I knew I should have set my alarm clock.”

“I fell in love, but she wasn’t there to pick me up. So I took a taxi.”