“Love is to beer as I am to drunk. And you say I’m not romantic. Shoot, I’m so romantic I could just puke.”

“To maximize love, I try to emulate an omelet. And I’m not just saying that to sound romantic.”

“I’m nothing. I’m just a humble man in a bumblebee costume trying to pollinate with a woman as romantic as a flower. Love doesn’t have to sting.”

“I’m all out of beer like I’m all out of love. But I don’t drink beer, so who cares?”

“I heard what you said. I’m not the silly romantic you think. I don’t want the heavens or the shooting stars. I don’t want gemstones or gold. I have those things already. I want…a steady hand. A kind soul. I want to fall asleep, and wake, knowing my heart is safe. I want to love, and be loved.”

“Chloe Marie Richards, I never thought I would ever be one of those dumbasses who loves a woman so much they want to tie themself to her forever, but here I am, down on one knee trying to think of something sweet and romantic to say. As you can tell, I’m failing miserably, so will you please put me out of my misery and say yes if I ask you to marry me?”