“Love is what you make it. Unfortunately, I can’t make it today, as I have a doctor’s appointment.”

“I found a note I wrote that said “Doctor’s Appointment Tomorrow.” Well, that note is wrong, because that appointment was yesterday.”

“A vibrating toothbrush is one hygienic marvel of a sex toy. The next time I want to make love, I’ll make a dentist appointment.”

“I’m here today because of my decisions yesterday. So I can change my tomorrow today, but I can’t change my today today. This makes the me of yesterday offensive to the me of today.”

“It’s true, I can’t make you love me. But I can refuse to let you out of your cage.”

“We couldn’t make love, unfortunately, because she was dead. I didn’t kill her, if that’s what you’re wondering. She died long before I was born, and that’s probably the biggest mistake of my life.”

“As much as I want to make love to you, I’d rather make love to your clone.”