“Love lets us ride on its back as if it were a camel. But you’ve got to water it, or it won’t grow into a healthy rose bush.”

“I am the Love Camel of Llama Land. Come, hop on my hump and let me lead you to water.”

“I wasn’t very far away from figuring out the secret to love, no more than two miles or so, when my camel broke down and I got shot at by a pack of cigarettes.”

“I won’t bring you a single rose to be romantic, but I will point out that our relationship itself is the rose, and it’s our goal to see that it blossoms.”

“The love doctor, Orafoura, says there are two things that a guy can do to promote a healthy relationship: One, grow out a handlebar mustache, and two, grow a mullet. I don’t know, will radiating lust make me a better lover?”

“We had a blast at my magical birthday party. There were midgets, fairies, glass slippers, and I actually got to ride in a pumpkin.”

“I won’t pick up your bad habits. They look heavy and I’ve got a bad back. Plus, I have my own bad habits already.”