“Love like you owe nothing, and pay in full.”

“When you pay for security, it seems like you’re paying for nothing—and that’s the point. You’re paying so nothing happens. Safety is the absence of something.”

“If I were king, I wouldn’t pay you the money I owe you. I’d give you a far more valuable gift: the gift of life—your own. Yes, you’d get to keep it!”

“If love came in a cardboard tube, I’d probably send it priority mail. But I’d make you pay for shipping.”

“If love were orange, like an apple, there’d be nothing to compare it to.”

“Being in love is like being lit on fire and having your loved one morph into a marshmallow as she runs to embrace you. But not being in love feels so much worse, possibly like being a tax collector. Actually, nothing compares to the lowliness of a tax collector.
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“I wanted to make love in the rain, but owing to unfavorable (or, rather favorable) weather conditions, I took to the shower as a suitable substitute.”