“Making benches is no walk in the park. It takes one a lot of love to make a bench, and then it takes two to make love on that bench.”

“William Penn would be a great pen name. But for love letters to manicured lawns, trees, and benches, the best name would be Nicholas Parks.”

“Never sit on a freshly painted bench, or stand on a wet wall. That’s a lesson in love I had to learn the sideways way.”

“I can bench press steam, but not fog. I just have to wait until the fog lifts itself.
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“In high school I barely made the rodeo team. But I wasn’t good enough to start, so I just rode the bench.”

“I make love alone, because it’s one person faster than two.”

“If it’s not one thing, it’s another. The other thing is, of course, two. That makes the one thing love, because two is the smallest number you can have to get the one.”