“Male or female, if my name were either Don or Dawn, I’d be up at sunrise to celebrate the glory that is me.”

“My name is Don, as in sunrise.”

“My name is Dawn. It’s not a female name. I am Sunset’s brother.”

“If my name were Entist, I’d probably be a dentist. If my name were Dennis, I’d probably be into tennis. And if my name were Funnalingus, well, I’ll let you figure out what I’d enjoy.”

“If my name were Isaac Newton, would I be a famous no name? I’d have worldwide and historical name recognition, yet I’d be anonymous.”

“I’d make a good groom, if my last name were McBride.”

“If my name were Mark Twain, I’d write under the pseudonym “Samuel Clemens.”