“Man should have a solid foundation under his feet, and a roof over his mouth.”

“The Nike swoosh logo would make an interesting mustache—on a man who runs his mouth all the time.”

“As long as you are wearing a hat made out of shingles, you’ll always have a roof over your head.”

“Michael Phelps collects huhs. Huh? His mouth said nothing, but his actions said it all.”

“He was a man I came to respect. Not because he wore Ziploc bags for socks (he had sweaty feet), but because he also kept his sandwiches warming there while he walked.”

“I don't know what love is, but I know what love isn't. Love isn't a peanut butter and tuna sandwich, because no young man should spend his time searching for his "once in a lifetime." Take it from me, a love like that doesn't exist. And if it did, I'd have already eaten it.”

“I’m 30-years-old, and I still can’t get out from under my father’s shadow. He’s really tall, so maybe I’ll just ask him to move over a few feet.”