“Men are from vaginas, and women are from women.”

“I treat women like royalty. But not from a Bolshevik perspective.”

“Nipples—men have them, but don’t need them. Men—women have them, but don’t need them. Women—I don’t have them, but I need them. All of them.”

“On average, women are better liars than men. But the best liars are men, because politicians are still predominantly men.
”

“Men and women think about love differently. The main difference is that men simply don’t think about it.”

“Thank goodness women aren’t as superficial as men. Where would a guy like me be if all women cared about were looks? The plastic surgeon’s office, that’s where.”

“Men lie to get laid, women lie about orgasms, and hermaphrodites lie to themselves.
”