“Most people take four years to get a degree. Not me. I’m twice as ambitious. It took me nearly eight years to graduate.”

“I’m in the Just Under A Decade club. That’s how long it took me to get a four-year degree.”

“One to five, I’m not sure how most people would rate me. But I’m certainly top four to anyone who doesn’t have a thumb.”

“Every leap year I like to jump. It’s a good way to get my daily exercise in every four years.”

“To most people, if you’re muttering, you might as well be speaking a foreign language. I should know, because in college I took two years of muttering.”

“At my ten-year high school reunion, I was voted best looking. Of course, there were two people in my high school, and while I wasn’t the best looking, my brother was two years younger and therefore not in my graduating class.”

“Take me to Happy Birthday Land. It’s open 364 days of the year, and the one day of the year it’s closed for cleaning happens to be my birthday. 
”