“Music can elevate man to new heights. Especially elevator music.”

“Last night I snuck an orchestra into the elevator at my apartment. We made elevator music history until Marvin got his oboe caught in the door and Mrs. Hoffstead started singing "Yes We Have No Bananas Today" in the hall so loud the police were called in from Equador.”

“The rent should rise with the elevator.”

“A manmade waterfall that was half man, half waterfall would have a hard time going upstairs. Thank God for waterproof elevators!”

“Music has the power to shake society, especially if the bass is turned way up.”

“Escalators are the offspring of elevators and stairs. Love is the progeny of passion and admiration.”

“A bathroom that doubles as an elevator would be a great place to open a coffee shop—but only if it’s a Starbucks.”