“My blender has a more powerful engine than my car, but my car doesn’t make smoothies as well. I drive a Toyota Starbucks Limited Edition.”

“I’ll be waiting in my trunk, with the engine of your car.”

“The engine of my car is so powerful I could wash dishes under the hood. But that’d be pretty absurd, since I keep the dishwasher in the trunk.”

“I traded in my car with no gas in the tank and my new car came with a full tank. So I at least profited there. That makes me appreciate my depreciation more.”

“What I want more than a car that goes from Point A to Point B, is a car that stops. I make it a point to break for love. My horn is broke—and so am I, but I get paid Friday.”

“I can’t get car parts at Lowes, the home improvement store? If I lived in my car, my car would be my home.”

“I can guess which car my boss drives. I’ll just look for the one with the hole in the back, like an asshole.”