“My comfort zone is right above the ozone layer.”

“OK isn’t just all right—it’s also the abbreviation for the state above Texas.”

“I’m about to cross a time zone, and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, maybe I can catch up to the love of my youth.”

“I put a saddle on my salad, and I rode my horseradish to Rhode Island, where I was just in time to be late. I think I left my time zone change in my Arizona iced tea, so all I have to offer you to drink is water that’s been redirected from the Colorado River through a series of pipes and political litigation.”

“I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal!”

“The couch was green, so I felt comfortable wiping my boogers on it. I just wish it had been brown.”

“I watched the sunset from the comfort of my bathtub, which has a clear bottom so I had an unobstructed view.”