“My crotch is the center of my body, but not the center of my being. That would be my asshole.”

“I made myself an “I Love Jennifer” jacket out of my old “I Love Jenn” jacket. Two girls, one continuous love. The I Love Jennifer is a little off-center, but then so am I. Better than being self-centered, as my clone would probably say.”

“My face doesn’t match my personality. Maybe it would if instead of a mouth I had an asshole in its place.
”

“I took my pants off slowly, thinking if I did it too fast I’d possibly rip a hole in the center of the universe.”

“The zipper on my crotch is an air vent. I need some way to cool down my hot coffee.”

“Do you find it erotic how my pants bulge in the crotch, where I keep my coffee cup?”

“A tie is like an arrow pointing to my crotch. A tie is also like an even score.”