“My facial features smell as rugged as a rose looks. Isn’t my nose the most romantically smelling thing?”

“If I had nostrils on my index fingers, I wonder what the inside of my nose would smell like?”

“If you could smell my smile, you’d nose how bad I want to kiss you. But you can’t, and I don’t.”

“I hate the smell of success, because most of the time it smells like sweat. Maybe that’s why I’m poor, because every pore on my body is dry.”

“I can smell a trap. It smells like my ass.”

“I love the smell of cleanliness. That’s what the inside of my nostrils smell like, naturally.”

“My favorite smells are freshly baked bread, the pages of an old book, and they way my boss’ ass smells when he’s shouting at me.”