“My father went AWOL the day I got dishonorably discharged from his penis.
”

“When I saw her naked, my penis went from hash brown to French fry.
”

“Discharge my followers; let them hence away,From Richard's night to Bolingbrooke's fair day.”

“Conner Lassiter. Scheduled to be unwound the 21st of November-until you went AWOL. You caused an accident that killed a bus driver, left dozens of others injured, and shut down an interstate highway for hours. Then, on top of it, you took a hostage AND shot a Juvey-cop with his own tranq gun."..."He's the Akron AWOL?!”

“Every man is blessed with his gifts from the Lord. One of mine happens to be a penis large enough that, if it had a penis of its own, my penis’s penis would be larger than your penis.”

“On the card I wrote, “Thinking of you,” and the picture was of my erect penis. I hope my local congressman got it OK.”