“My favorite flower is the tulip. I’m crazy like Holland about them. I’ll even pay as much as $1,637 for one.”

“I’ll leave my disconnected cell phone as collateral, and I’ll call you on it when I’m able to pay.”

“My favorite flower lost its voice, and through aroma therapy and the assistance of both my nostrils, I’m trying to help it get it back.”

“I want to grow a flower for every time someone tells me “F*** you.” Then I’ll go back to that person and pin the flower on their lapel in a gesture of friendship. And while they are looking down on it in astonishment, I’ll bunch up my knuckles and punch them in the face.”

“I’m going on vacation, and I’m leaving my clone in charge. I’ll be gone, but I’ll be here.”

“When I’m 42, I’ll have 21 years of experience being 21. I’ll be doubly prepared to handle myself in a bar, most likely by avoiding them altogether.”

“Flowers and fear are a lot alike. For one, flowers and fear have a distinct smell, and two, I’m currently trying to grow both in my garden.”