“My cat’s favorite chew toy is a pen. I’d wager that he is a better writer than me.”
“A chef should make a dish using only my words as ingredients. My words will taste great in your mouth.”
“I’ll put an oven mitt on before I handle anything hot—including my penis.”
“There’s a penis in my penne pasta. It’s my penis, but that doesn’t mean it belongs there.”
“My penis burns. I guess I should stop trying to put out forest fires with it.”
“Let my hand be a blanket for my penis. ”