“My forehead is starting to get wrinkled, but you’d hardly notice it because all the wrinkles in my shirt would distract your attention from my face.”

“I have an iron deficiency. You can tell by how wrinkled my clothes are.”

“Time flows like a canoe floats, and my love would fit in your purse if you’d just empty your money into my wallet.”

“It’s important that my socks match. I don’t want anything that distracts from my sock puppet show. Quiet, now! Show starts in ten seconds.”

“His first name is Brooks, but his last name isn’t. His last name is Wrinkled, unlike his shirt (he isn’t wearing one).”

“Question for your life: If love existed an octave above where your vocal range ended, would you buy a dog whistle to get my attention?”

“When I told her my love would stop her tears from falling, she started laughing. She laughed so hard she started crying. Damn. Double damn!”